I can now see and feel that my sessions are taking a toll on my body. The last time I stepped on a weighing scale, I weighed 158lbs. Earlier, I braved the fear of looking sick so I decided to have myself weighed. I was shocked! I lost 16 pounds! So I went upstairs, removed all my clothing, and faced the inevitable. The mirror. Darn! I'm getting skinny!
I thought I was on my way to recovery because I've already had 3 radiation sessions and 2 chemotherapy sessions. Then, I had 18 lumps. After the first session, 3 lumps were dissolved. And last week, 5 more. So now, I only have 10 lumps. But why am I losing weight?
As I looked closely in the mirror, I felt like I was looking at someone else's reflection. Shoulders slumped forward, collar bone showing, some of the upper ribs are showing as well and cheeks looking like a balloon pricked with a needle. But what caught my attention the most, were those eyes...
They were looking back at me but not really seeing. It looked like those pair of eyes were... Haunted.
That's when it hit me! Majority of my friends are not even aware of my condition. And I'm not telling them that I've got Cancer because.. I don't know.. Just because! My plan was to inform them after I've recovered. But the reflection in front of me cannot deny the fact that he is suffering. That I am suffering. Badly.
I need a makeover! I need to, somehow, hide all the signs that I'm not feeling well...
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I guess it's time to say "hello Revlon" or "hello Ever Bilena"...
July 22, 2009
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2 comments:
Why not confide to someone bro? It might help.
@ that's the problem.. I don't have anybody to talk to.
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