Wish

A friend once told me that I wish for more than what I deserve. In reality, what I'm wishing for is something that I know will eventually complement what I already have. It's a harsh reality when you know that what you are wishing for is something that might take a lifetime. What's harder is when you know that what you are fervently wishing for can never be, and will never ever be yours for the taking.

Acceptance of that fact came hard for me. Just like how pirates searched for the rainbow's end trying to find the pot of gold that our ancestors' imagination conjured. Like a leaf, wishing for freedom as it's end firmly held by the stem that nourished it until the leaf flourished, but when finally released from captivity brought about by a mere gust of wind, desperately cries for help because it knows that the consequence is for the leaf to wither and die. Then, the dawn of realization will come.

It's a lesson in life that I recently accepted. A lesson that took me a while to decipher the meaning. Thankfully, even though it brought me down on my knees, I learned. Learned that wishing can lead you to distraction. Learned that wishing can appease your fears. Learned that in wishing, life can be more than what we make out of it..

Kath

A face that defies "ageless"...

Many has been written, many has been said, but only a few have captured the true essence of the word......

"BEAUTY"

Catherine Tabon

Mommy Nonette

Ito ang mommy ko sa production floor..

Well, actually mommy sa ng lahat..

Thunders.. Pero may asim pa!! :D

I am sorry

Touching the letters that marks the spot where you lay, a drop fell. Not aware that it came from my eye, I pushed it out of the markings. I looked above then closed my eyes.

Another tear-drop fell.

This time, with the realization that it was mine as it rolled down my cheek. Instinct caused my hand to reach for it and wipe the tear away. I looked at the finger that made contact, it glistens with wetness. Upon looking at my finger, I remembered your coaxing words as it used to calm my emotions. Every line, every word, every phrase, every comment, it never fails to pacify the turmoil I'm feeling.

As I stand before the grassy mound where all my fond memories of you rest, I can't help it but to feel remorse. I never meant to be so cold and distant. God know's how much I wanted to reach out and be your friend. But in doing so, it caused you even more pain. I tried and tried, countless of times. But still, I cannot seem to touch you. That's when I decided to stop..

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You thought I never cared. You thought I never listened. The reality was, I just don't know how to react. How to say "thanks" for all the lessons you've taught me.

Little did I know, the "end" was near..

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Now I understand why you felt that way. Now I realize the pain that I've caused. It might be too late to say I am sorry, but I will say it anyway..

I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry...

Now I stand infront of your grave, pleading for forgiveness..

I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry..

Mom.

Dandelion

As I ruminate on the things that happened during my existence, I now know how foolish I've been. I do not wish for things to change. For I know that the consequences that I've encountered were direct result of my decisions. Majority of them might not be wise, but at the time I made those, I benefited. Just as the blossom of the dandelions decided to take flight away from it's bud. Scattered by the gentle wind as they frolic in the freedom they think they've accomplished. But after a great fall, tears well up from their tips as they regret fleeing from the protective arms of the mighty dandelion..

Fly Away

I've always been fascinated with Doves. They're the symbolism of women with poise and children free from guile and "cunningness". Regardless of its size and color, Dove's are synonymous to innocence brought about by their existence. Beautifully sculpted wings twice the size of it's body, spreading out, conquering the wind and making it it's subordinate, taking flight as the power of air lifted the Dove way above the clouds.

That's what I want to experience. That's what I want to be..

I have conquered many fears. Just as the Dove conquered it's fear of height in it's early stages of life. And just like a Dove, I am soaring in my aspirations that I wish to fulfill someday. Beyond the realms of sanity, I fly with fervor just to feel the warmth of the people I hold dear. With great passion, I fly away to feel the confines of my emotions. My wings flapping away as I mimic a child emancipated from the loving arms of its mother. Flying, soaring, ascending in an abyssal state of mind..

Someday..

Someday..

Someday..

My freedom will be in it's absolute form.. Just like a Dove..

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Hope that someday will be soon..

Good mood ako!!!!

Good mood ako.. Good mood ako.. Good mood ako...

Since this morning, ito and sinasabi ko. Ito ang chant ng buhay ko for this day. And dapat maging mood ko the whole day. Pero parang imposible! Mantakin mo, yung officemate ko napakahilig magmagaling, bumibida nanaman.

Pagkagising ko, feeling ko ang fresh-fresh ko. Pero simula nung nakita ko siya, nagsimula nang makontra ang "good mood" chant ko. Nung nagkita kami pag dating ko sa office, ang isinalubong sakin, irap.

Walang dating!

Pakialam ko?! Eh 'di umirap siya ng umirap hanggang maduling siya! Wala akong pakialam!

Again, good mood ako! Ulitin pa, good mood ako! Isa pa, good mood ako!

Hindi ko nalang pinansin the whole day. Pero parang nananadya ang tadhana! Siyeeeet! Thursday pala ngayon! Meaning, may calibration kami! And wala akong ibang choice kundi makisama since kasama naman talaga siya sa calibration session! Asaaaarrr!

Good mood ako! Good mood ako! Good mood ako!

Buti nalang hindi natuloy ang calibration. Nung tinawagan na namin yung client, cancelled daw ang calibration. Sa loob-loob ko, Yihiiiiiii! Good mood ako! Good mood ako! Good mood ako!

During lunch break, nagsabi yung isang officemate ko na manglilibre daw siya ng lunch. Itago nalang natin sa pangalang "tangkad". So in-invite si boss. Eh ang sabi naman ni boss, mags-stay nalang daw siya kasi kawawa naman ang mga maiiwan sa floor. Fine! So nagpa-order nalang sila. Pero take note, libre pa din ni tangkad yung food ah. Before kami lumabas ng floor, narinig ni tangkad na may kausap si "officemate". And guess what, ako ang pinagu-usapan! Na kesyo mukha daw tikbalang at kung ano-ano pa! Ang kapal ng mukha!

Hooooops... Good mood ako! Good mood ako! Good mood ako!

Pagbalik namin sa floor, binigay na ni tangkad yung food nila boss (kasama si "officemate"). Sa conferrence room sila kumain. 3 sila. Fine. Good mood ako! After nila kumain, unang lumabas si TM. In fairness naman kay TM, nag thank you siya kay tangkad. Nung si boss ang lumabas, nag thank you din. Nung si "officemate" na yung lumabas, pucha dere-derecho ang lakad! Humablot ng tumbler ng isang agent sabay inom ng tubig na laman nung tumbler. Ang kapal ng mukha! Ako yung nahiya para kay tangkad!!!

Good mood ako! Good mood ako! Good mood ako!

Towards the end of the shift, iniwasan ko na para nga hindi na masira ang araw ko. Again, magaling manukso ang tadhana! Siyeeeet! Pagsakay ko ng elevator, biglang sumulpot si "officemate" sa pinto! At dalawa lang kami sa loob! From 18th floor hanggang sa ground floor, wala na siyang ibang sinabi kundi "bakit ganyan ang suot mo? Hindi pa naman Friday ah, bakit naka-jeans ka?" "Ganyan ba talaga ang kulay ng damit mo? Parang ang dumi!" Habang sinasabi niya yung mga yun, sa isip-isip ko, "good mood ako! Good mood ako! Good mood ako!"

Parang ang tagal bumaba ng elevator! Siyeeet! Nung nasa ground foor na, pucha hindi pa bumukas yung pintuan! In short, na-stuck kaming dalawa sa loob! Ang magaling na officemate, hala nagsi-sigaw sa loob! Hindi ba niya naisip na kulob yung boses niya?! Feeling ko nga, nabasag na yung ear-drum ko sa lakas ng sigaw niya! Baka nga may umaagos pang dugo palabas! Siyeeet! Ako naman, nakapikit lang...

Good mood ako! Good mood ako! Good mood ako!

Bumukas yung pintuan ng elevator after 35 minutes! Yun na siguro ang pinaka masayang moment ng buhay ko! Yung isiping makakalabas na ako at uuwi na! At hindi ko na siya makikita the rest of the day!

Bahala na bukas sa office pag nakita ko siya ulit! Ah may naisip ako, magpapa-late ako at sa ibang post ako uupo! Yung post na pinakamalayo sa post ni "officemate"! Tama!

Good mood ako! Good mood ako! Good mood ako!

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Salamat sa'yo Mommy Nonette at kahit paano

gumagaan ang araw ko sa office

everytime nakikita ko ang napaka-ganda mong bangs!

Hehe! I love you mommy! .. :p