Tik Tak Tik Tak

Zombie.. That's what I am. At least that's what I think I am..

I wake up every morning yet I do not see the sunshine that majority seems to enjoy. I cannot seem to find the meaning of preparing to start a new day with much joy and enthusiasm. I cannot find the meaning of surviving and living free.

My life crashed so bad that I think I already unlearned the art of smiling.

I used to have big dreams. I used to have hope. I used to have faith. And that is just the fucking problem! All that were a part of the "used to" now. So much have changed! All because of this illness!

Now I'm wondering if I can still hope. Probably because I'm afraid to do just that.

I feel like I'm a prisoner. I cannot do this, I cannot eat that...

If this is what it will be like from now on, might as well give up the fight. I am tired. So tired. I'm wishing all of this to stop. I wish everything to just simply end. I wish life is as easy as that. If you're tired and wanting things to just end, you'll simply click the eject button and go directly to heaven. If there really is heaven...

Fly Away

I've always been fascinated with Doves. They're the symbolism of women with poise and children free from guile and "cunningness". Regardless of its size and color, Dove's are synonymous to innocence brought about by their existence. Beautifully sculpted wings twice the size of it's body, spreading out, conquering the wind and making it it's subordinate, taking flight as the power of air lifted the Dove way above the clouds.

That's what I want to experience. That's what I want to be..

I have conquered many fears. Just as the Dove conquered it's fear of height in it's early stages of life. And just like a Dove, I am soaring in my aspirations that I wish to fulfill someday. Beyond the realms of sanity, I fly with fervor just to feel the warmth of the people I hold dear. With great passion, I fly away to feel the confines of my emotions. My wings flapping away as I mimic a child emancipated from the loving arms of its mother. Flying, soaring, ascending in an abyssal state of mind..

Someday..

Someday..

Someday..

My freedom will be in it's absolute form.. Just like a Dove..

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Hope that someday will be soon..