Goodbye.. Friend

"It's with a heavy heart that I inform you of the demise of a well-loved friend and Points 'n Flexes Alumnus, Louie Bago. He passed away yesterday. Please pray for his departed soul. Thanks"

That's what roused me from a rather boring and uneventful day. For a minute there I wasn't ale to move. Rather, I cannot move. I tried to move a muscle but failed. I tried to breathe but it seemed like I forgot how to. I tried to focus my eyes on the reports I was doing but it would not either. My head was spinning out of control.

I knew I had to step out. I knew what was about to happen. Nausea started to rise as Louie's ever-smiling face started to appear infront of the monitor. But still, I'm frozen.

I felt someone tapping my shoulder. And it was what I exactly needed to break from the trance I'm in. I looked up and Aoie was looking at me funny.

"Are you O.K? Bigla ka nalang namutla jan ah"

"May na-recieve lang akong text"

"Eh bakit ka nga biglang namutla?"

"Wala. Kailangan ko lang ng fresh air"

I stepped out of the building and started to walk. As usual, walking helps me think. Helps me re-organize my thoughts back into coherentness.

I felt my left pocket for my lighter but it wasn't there. I must have left it in my office. This sudden need to smoke was brought on by the realization that one of my friends just passed away. A friend, whose passion was to dance his heart out. A friend whose desire was to make other people smile. A friend, who I just promised last week that I'd go and visit but was unable to. A friend who, way back in college, taught me how to "de-stress" by lighting up a cigarette. My friend, Louie.

I sat at my favorite spot in the park. It has become my own little sanctuary where I can reflect and think about almost everything. My own little dream world.

Louie was the type who loves to kid around. He always had a joke with him. And no matter how serious or depressing the mood was, he finds a way to make "things" brighter. It was his personality. It was the Louie that all of De La Salle Performing Arts Group loved and that we'll surely miss..

As I inhale the last puff of my ever dependable cigarette, I made a promise to go and visit Sta. Clara church this Sunday. I will write a prayer for your soul and for mine as well. Maybe soon, if I can no longer contain this depression I've been feeling for weeks now, I might go and "visit" you..

Until then my friend, I'll miss you...