Until The Time Comes

I want to reach out to you. I want to hold you in my arms and promise you that everything will be alright. I want to listen to your interesting thoughts. I want to hold you near and wish your sadness away. I wish I can give you happiness that can last you a lifetime. I wish I can hear you breathe. I wish I can see the world like you do. I want to know who you really are. I want to know what pisses you off. I want to learn what makes you cry. I want to know what makes you smile. I want to know what will make you laugh. I want to know what you're feeling. I want to know more about you. I want to know you.

But I can't. And I don't even know how to start.

I'm not brave enough to go through with my original plan. I'm not brave enough to send you a text message. I'm not brave enough to click your name from my friends' list and send you an IM when I know your online. I'm not brave enough to dial your number and just listen to you say "hello". I'm not brave enough to ask you to meet me. I'm not brave enough to say it was you all along.

I'm not saying it's perfectly fine with me. All I'm saying is that this will have to do for now. I'm not going to act on it. Nor will I let you know I feel something towards you. Because I know this can never be. This will never be. And I know, in time, this too will pass.