The Power of Tears

Earlier today, I had this urge to go out of the house. I don't know where, but I want to go out. I felt like I'm a prisoner in my own world. I couldn't breathe! I need some air!

While walking, a man stepped up to me and said, "Are you OK? Because you're quite pale." Without thinking, I answered "Of course, I've Cancer!" The guy stepped back looking like he was about to run. Then I thought, is this how it will be from now on? Every time people became aware of my condition, they'll just run away? Stupid! For people who are not informed of how and what Cancer is, they'll forever be ignorant. Cancer is not contagious like some might think. It cannot be acquired by mere handshake!

I didn't know where I was until I stumbled on a rectangular granite. I was on my mother's grave. After the realization, I went down on my knees and sobbed. It's been a while since I last visited my Mom. Knowing that where she lies is just half an hour of walk away from my house. I cried... I was emptying myself from the chaos that's been haunting me since I learned what I have. And it helped. It somehow alleviated the turmoil within. It freed me, even for just an hour or two.

Indeed, the power of crying cannot be underestimated. The famous line that says "boys don't cry" is a fallacy. Now I'd say, real boys do let their emotions take control of them. Even if it means shedding a teardrop...

I am not yet a Survivor... But I will be.. Soon..

- - - - -

I just got back from the hospital. It was OK for the most part. Not bad news, but not a good one either. I thought after the last chemo session I had, the next session would be next month. Guess I was wrong. I have to do radiation this weekend. The question is, how? I'll be flying to San Antonio, TX this Thursday. I asked around and they told me that radiation session in San Antonio costs roughly around $500! Whew! That's a lot! I have to think of an alternative! Fast!