Tik Tak Tik Tak

Zombie.. That's what I am. At least that's what I think I am..

I wake up every morning yet I do not see the sunshine that majority seems to enjoy. I cannot seem to find the meaning of preparing to start a new day with much joy and enthusiasm. I cannot find the meaning of surviving and living free.

My life crashed so bad that I think I already unlearned the art of smiling.

I used to have big dreams. I used to have hope. I used to have faith. And that is just the fucking problem! All that were a part of the "used to" now. So much have changed! All because of this illness!

Now I'm wondering if I can still hope. Probably because I'm afraid to do just that.

I feel like I'm a prisoner. I cannot do this, I cannot eat that...

If this is what it will be like from now on, might as well give up the fight. I am tired. So tired. I'm wishing all of this to stop. I wish everything to just simply end. I wish life is as easy as that. If you're tired and wanting things to just end, you'll simply click the eject button and go directly to heaven. If there really is heaven...

...

I wish I can say I'm O.K. But I'm not. And I don't think I will be, until I'm finally "free" from this bullshit I'm currently facing...