November 05, 2008

Beginning of the End (2)

Thank you my online friend.

I thank you for letting me see a little bit of sunshine after a stormy day. Thank you for listening to my dramatics and my little nothings. I might seem like a shallow person, and maybe I am, but I still thank you for listening. If I wasn't able to return this Ipod to it's rightful owner, I'm going to give it to you. Hehe.

I gave myself time.. Well, until this coming Sunday. If things didn't brighten up and I'm still in this hell-hole, it's time to say goodbye. I've thought about it. And I guess this is the best solution amongst all the options that I've pondered. And in a way, every time I think about what's going to happen, certain serenity washes over me. I guess because I know my demons can no longer hunt me by then.

I hate seeing myself in the mirror every single day because I cannot recognize the person staring back at me. So as much as possible, I steer-clear away from mirrors. And the person behind the mirror looks.... Haunted.

As my final battle sees it's end, I cannot help but wonder if I've fought my battles well enough. If I've given it my all. One thing is for sure though, from this day until my deadline this Sunday, I'm going to try and fight this battle.

For now, I'll look forward to the coffee and doughnut you've promised me.Ü I just hope I'm still "around" when you get to it..

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I read the whole blog and decided to write. I hope that you are feeling well since it's been four days after your last entry. Find someone to be with, a family member, a friend, a relative and pour your heart out. You cannot keep it to yourself. Take care, I don't know you but I feel what you are feeling.

Macoy said...

@ jon: I'm still here. Still holdin' on. The concern is appreciated. Thanks. Thank you.