The Not So Good News

The depression is creeping back in...

I just came back from the hospital and somehow, the news that my doctor said was quite disappointing. I was hoping for a positive news when I went to see him earlier this morning. As it turned out, it was not what I was wanting to hear.

I was feeling a bit nauseated these past few weeks. Probably because I haven't been taking my medicines lately. And that's the reason why I went to the hospital earlier.

After waiting for at least 30 minutes at the lobby, my name was finally called. And so I went inside the doctors office. When I saw his face, I kind of knew what was about to come. I guess because I already know my doctor well enough for me to tell if he's about to say something good or bad. But still, I waited. I did not let his expression deter my hope. Until he said...

"I'll be honest with you. Although you might look healthy, things are not going as planned. Yes you're gaining weight, but it doesn't necessarily follow that your cancer cells are decreasing in numbers. Now, we have to look at the option of having an External Beam Radiation."

That's when my hope crumbled. That's when I started to tremble. I knew my lapses when it came to taking my medicines regularly. It was my fault. And now, I felt like I'm starting all over again.

I know what I have to do. But I guess, if you're facing a battle that seems pointless, one ends up not caring at all...

I am tired. I've been fighting this battle for more than 5 months now. And I am nowhere near the finish line. I just hope I have the strength to see this battle to the end. With my spirit, soul and hope intact.

I deserve a prize

After a very stressful day at work, I decided to go to La Quinta Hotel by Marriot and attend their Open House just to check the place out. When I arrived, I was ushered in the receptions area where I was greeted by the front desk people. They took my name and gave me this card to be signed by the attending hotel staff in every station indicated in front of the card. And so I went and checked out their hotel and all.

The last stop was at the pool side. But before one can enter, you must fill out the back portion of the card and drop it on those tiny baskets. There was a Mexican band playing and some caterers with their mouth-watering food. I engaged in small talks with the other guests while chewing on this brisket and a cup of margarita in hand. The margarita was heaven!

At the end of the whole event, there was a raffle draw. 3rd prize winner will get a night's stay at the same Hotel and free use of their facility, 2nd prize winner will get an Ipod Shuffle version 3 and the grand prize winner will get a plasma TV. I was not really expecting for my name to be called out since I've never been lucky enough to win any raffle draws. So I ate and ate and ate some more. Until the person beside me screamed! I looked at her and she said I won. I looked at her strangely because she knew my name. Then I remembered that I was also wearing their ID card. I went on stage and verified if I indeed won. The name that I wrote down at the back portion of the card was Tofi. While the name that was displayed as Marc Fernando.

I was like :OMG"! I indeed won. I was hoping for the plasma TV but I won an Ipod shuffle instead. Not bad for a start!