May 15, 2010

How She said Goodbye...

3:00 am

"Marc"

"Po?"

"Halika sandali"

"Bakit po?"

"Open mo nga yung electric fan anak at naiinitan ako"

"Opo"

I entered her room, shocked at what I saw.
Her sitting at the side of the bed,
Trash bin held tightly.
And blood...
Fresh blood...
All over the floor.

I sat next to her and started rubbing her back.

"OK ka lang po ba 'Ma?"

"Paki tapat mo sa'kin yung electric fan 'nak ko"

I did what she asked and sat back next to her.
She looked at me and said

"'Wag mo hahawakan yang dugo"

I held her arm and replied

"Opo"

She coughed. But not just any ordinary cough.
She coughed again and there was blood.

"OK ka lang po ba 'Ma? Uminom ka ba ng gamot kanina?"

She looked at me again with tears in her eyes

"Pa'no ka na 'pag wala na ako?"

"Ano ka ba 'Ma?! Ano ba yang sinasabi mo? 'Wag ka nga magsalita ng ganyan"

"Tinatawag na ako ng Daddy mo"

"Shh! Itigil na nga yan ganyan 'Ma!"

"'Wag kayo maga-away nila kuya mo ha?"

"Opo. Itigil na yang ganyang mga statements!"

She coughed again.
This time, there was a big chunk of blood that came out.
A big chunk.

She held my arm.
I held her arm tighter.
She looked at me again.
I touched her face.
She looked at the crucifix,
Inhaled deeply,
And closed her eyes...

"Ma!"

She didn't open her eyes.
I called again

"Ma!"

She didn't even move.

Then I felt her skin.
It was cold as ice.

And that's when I realized,
She's gone...

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4:00 am

"Hello?"

"Kuya si Mama!"

"Oh bakit?"

"Kuya si Mama!"

"Bakit nga?!"

"Wala na si Mama"

"Ha? Anong wala na si Mama?"

"Wala na si Mama"

Then silence...

"Pupunta na ako jan"

"Kuya wala na si Mama"

Tears falling, I kept saying those words.

"Kuya wala na si Mama"

"Pupunta na ako jan. Tawag ka sa kabila"

"Kuya wala na si Mama"

Silence...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't really remember what happened next.
Everything was a blur.
Or maybe my mind blocked them out...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

She was my motivator.
She was my inspiration.
She was my best friend.

To the strongest person I know,

My Mom,

I salute you,
I love you!
And I miss you...

5 comments:

Kokoi said...

i recently lost my mom too... cyber hug for u! :(

mary said...

awwwww... i feel for you... i just recently lost my dad....

Neneng Kilabot said...

muntik na talga ko maiyak..naalala ko nanay ko.. parang di ko ata kaya pag nangyari sakin yun..

Neneng Kilabot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sHy said...

hi!

i dont know you that well pero ask ko lang po kung ano pong sakit ng mama mo? natanong ko lang kc ung nanay ko eh ganyan din po ang nangyayari..she had TB and now bronchiectasis..

every waking day is a blessing.. every minute and second is a miracle.. i feel for you.. stay strong!

To GOD be the glory till eternity! :)